Death and life
by theshadow-ofa-humanbeing
Summary: What will it be? Death or life? Read and find out! My summaries s**k, but give it a chance, please WARNING! CHARACTER DEATH! (kind of..)


**Author note: Hi It's me again, hope you will like this story, another one shot on our favourite CBI consultant and Senior Agent!**

 **I'm currently on holidays so** _ **I promise**_ **I will try to write a multi-chapter but I'm not sure I will be able to write something you could like (or me for that matter). There are so many amazing authors in this fandom and I read maybe a thousand stories (if not more) on The Mentalist, both in italian and english.**

 **Anyway I'll leave you to the story now. Enjoy!**

" **Death and Life"**

"T-teresa, Te-resa" Patrick called me, panting "I c-can feel it… it's near"

I woke up, startled by his irregular breathing and I immediately kneeled at his side, caressing his blonde curls.

"Don't worry, it will go away in a bit" I told him, trying to sound calm.

"N-no, this t-ime is different, I j-just know it"

"Honey, I'm sure this is just another fit, just breathe in deeply"

Oh right, Patrick Jane suffered from idiopathic pulmonary fibrosis. He was diagnosed with it 5 years before, at the age of 43.

Doctors had found it strange, given the young age of the patient and they warned us that it would have been particularly aggressive.

"N-no, we knew it f..from the beginning. I'm s-sorry to leave y-you now"

"No, Patrick, don't. Fight it" I pleaded him, sobbing and still caressing his face and curls.

Tears streamed down my face and I almost could see my pain reflected in his eyes. He was suffering at the thought of leaving me alone and I didn't want him to go.

"I l-love you T-tess, please tell J-jamie and E-ellie that t-their dad l-loves them and t-that I will a-always protect them" His voice was now barely a sad whisper but I could hear his love in every word.

"I will. I love you too" I told him, looking for the last time in his green eyes and touching his cheek.

With the last of his strenght he put his hand upon mine and weakly squeezed it.

His body violently tensed a few times , then he closed his eyes for the last time with a relieved sigh, maybe for the absence of pain.

I felt the air leave my lungs and I put my head on his chest, clutching his shirt and sobbing.

Suddenly only darkness surrounded me.

Darkness.

I opened my eyes all of a sudden, panting, with a single thought: Patrick was dead.

Then I heard a regular breath from the other side of the bed and I almost had a heart attack when, turning toward the sound, I saw Patrick there, sleeping like a baby.

I threw myself at him and hugged his bare chest, not caring that he was asleep.

He woke up with a start.

"Teresa" he called me with a sleepy voice "What is it?"

A sob left my lips when I heard his voice, the one I thought would be just a memory from now on.

My tears fell on his chest so he lifted my face, wiping away the salted drops with his thumbs.

"Hey" he told me gently "sweetheart, why are you crying?"

"It's nothing, Pat, just a s-stupid nightmare" I answered in a trembling voice, trying to calm myself and clutching his left hand, where the wedding ring shone under the moonlight.

"Tell me about it"

"I dreamt that you died from an illness and that" I breathed shakily "you left me, telling me you loved me and asking me to tell our children, Jamie and Ellie, that you loved them too" another sob escaped from my lips.

"It was terrible, Patrick. I thought I had lost you forever"

"It won't happen, love. It was just a stupid nightmare"

He kissed me tenderly and I felt loved and safe, the recent nightmare, in that moment, far away from my mind.

We laid back again, my back against his chest with his arm around my waist.

From time to time Patrick kissed my neck and cheek, to remind me he was right there with me.

I kept thinking about the bad dream and it came to my mind that, while it was just a dream, we had two children in it.

I then thought about my period, that was a week late. I had this thought nagging at my brain and I already wanted to talk to him about it, so I decided to use at my advantage the deep intimacy of the moment to do just that..

"Patrick?"

"Mhh?" he answered against the skin of my neck.

I turned around to see the reaction to the words I was about to tell.

"What would you think of… widening our family?"

I felt him stiffen, even if just for a second.

"You want… Would you like to have children?"

"Well.. yeah, I would, but only if you want them too, of course" I said, lowering my eyes.

He lifted my face again and met my eyes: "Well, I know it's been a long time but I can't help thinking about Charlie, my sweet little girl. I'm not sure I could be a good father, probably I will never be. I don't want to make the same mistakes I made before, but I know that I can't deny myself such a joy just because I'm afraid. I loved being a dad and I loved Charlotte with all my heart, I still do. I love you Tess, so yes, I want to have children with you and I swear I will try to be a good father with all I have, I will fight my fears but only if you will be here, by my side."

He stared at me, his eyes asking me if I would have been there to support and help him again.

" _Always"_

He kissed me softly, smiling and he tried to deepen the kiss but I stopped him.

At his confused look I spoke:

"Well, talking about it… _there's something I need to tell you_ " I began "you see, I might be…"

I watched him as every lingering doubt left his eyes leaving only pure joy in the green pools that were now staring alternatively at my face and at my, still flat, belly.

"When did you want to tell me, Tess? It's a wonderful news"

"I wanted to wait a few days more, just to be sure"

"I can feel it. In a few months there will be three of us in this home" he told me, kissing me.

He slowly lowered his head, until it was near my stomach and he began raising my T-shirt, exposing my belly. He then proceeded to lightly kiss it, making a circle and then he placed another kiss just in the center of it.

I let him, happy to be at the receiving end of his attentions and happy of the joy and the sweetness that was so clear in his gestures.

I started stroking his hair, while he greeted his child for the first time.

It was strange to think that a baby was growing inside of my womb, but I was sooo happy about it.

After a bit he covered me again and, raising himself to be face to face with me again, he talked:

"We have so much to think about, love. The crib, the nursery, the names..." he told me nervously.

I laughed softly at his nervousness, feeling my heart expand with love for this maddening, clever, beautiful and gentle man.

He looked so much like a child on Christmas morning, eager to open his gifts.

"Why do you laugh?" he asked me

"You're an old softie"

"Oh, Am I?"

When I nodded he smirked.

"You'll pay for that"

He then began lightly tickling my waist.

I laughed and pleaded him to stop but he relented after almost five minutes.

He kissed me and whispered "I love you"

"I love you too"

He hugged me and soon we fell in Morpheo's arms.

Eight months and a week later Eleanor and James Jane were born, two amazing babies. The little girl had her father's eyes and her mother's hair while her twin was just like Patrick but with his mother's lips and nose.

Their first family picture caught, and made immortal, all the love, the joy and the fears of the two parents waching lovingly the two little miracles in their arms, thinking that they would have done anything for them.

 **AUTHOR NOTE #2: Soooo, I couldn't really kill Patrick, could I? Though you have to admit I fooled you for a second there** **.**

 **No offence to those who suffer or know people that suffer from IPF, I know how serious is this illness so I don't want to offend anyone.**

 **I'll leave you now, if you liked it leave a review and if you noticed mistakes well… let me know so I will fix them (I really want to improve my english). Byeee!**


End file.
